So I'm feeling depressed and anti-social. Actually I have been feeling depressed and anti-social for a couple of weeks now. I was planning on telling you about the party I went to last Saturday. The party that only proved my point. That I have a reason for being a miserable anti-social sod.
So yeah, a friend (a close friend) invited me to a party she was throwing together with another friend of hers where they had invited a ton of people (a ton of people I didn't know). I rarely get invited to parties, so I went. I tried my best to hype myself up to the difficult occasion of meeting so many people and of being friendly and sociable. I hyped myself up so much that I ended up coming off as manic - like I usually do on occasions like this.
I tried to start conversations with an amazing amount of people (and was blown off by most of them) and I asked people to dance with me - men and women - (and got turned down by most). As the night went on and I eventually got a bit drunk, I started to come down from my self-created manic high and realise that almost no-one had tried to start a conversation with me first and that absolutely no-one had invited me to dance - despite me hopping up and down on the dance floor like some sort of demented bunny.
In a last desperate bid at sociability - even though I can feel myself slipping inexorably into my usual people-hating mood - I pick a young woman standing in the corner tapping her feet to the beat and ask her to dance. She agrees and I start feeling a bit more optimistic. One of the many guys I had tried talking to comes and joins us and I start to feel that things are truly looking up. Only the guy, after giving me a cursory greeting, turns his back on me and starts hitting on the other woman. They end up leaving me dancing by myself. The fact that the other woman was obviously much prettier than me, certainly didn't help me feel any better about the matter.
So somewhere there, I decide to give up the party as a lost cause. I spent the rest of the night talking with my few friends who had come. Stupidly I decide not to leave when I truly have had enough, but to wait for the friend I went with, who wanted to stay till the end to help clean up... In the end we don't leave last, but we do clean up most of the mess first.
The only nice thing that happened the whole party - besides meeting an acquaintance I hadn't seen in over fifteen years - was that one of the many guys I tried dancing and talking with, made the effort of saying good-bye before he left and kissing me on the cheek. He was plastered, but it was sweet of him nevertheless.
So now I think I can happily let another six months or more pass until I decide it's worth my while to make the effort of being pleasant and sociable again. By then I will have forgotten this fiasco and have persuaded myself that - despite previous evidence - I can make people like me.
No, I'm not bitter. Not at all.
Saturday, 26 June 2010
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Midsummer's Night
As usual I have a number of things to say, but am putting them off until I feel up to it.
So for now, let me just tell you that last night I went to final day of the three concerts for Europen Music Day. This little music festival has been happening for a number of years now in a large number of european cities. Athens festival is nice enough, but it's not nearly as much for as the one in Paris that I went to for two years running. In Paris there are not only stages for professional groups, but on every street corner and every square you can find choirs and amateur groups making music. All kinds of music! And it lasts all night!
So yesterday I saw:
Dustbowl, who where very good. They played americana so well, we almost thought they were american.
Electric Litany, who I really really liked. They played the sort of atmospheric rock I love.
The Meanie Genies, who well where rather dull. They sounded like every other greek rock group.
The Boy, who really has gone a long way since I first saw him with Mary (as Mary and the Boy). I have heard him play dozens of times, and each time he's better than the last.
Burger Project, who where the headliners. They mostly do remakes of well known songs, but they are a tremendous amount of fun and one of the most danceable bands in Greece.
Everybody knows this song, right?
So for now, let me just tell you that last night I went to final day of the three concerts for Europen Music Day. This little music festival has been happening for a number of years now in a large number of european cities. Athens festival is nice enough, but it's not nearly as much for as the one in Paris that I went to for two years running. In Paris there are not only stages for professional groups, but on every street corner and every square you can find choirs and amateur groups making music. All kinds of music! And it lasts all night!
So yesterday I saw:
Dustbowl, who where very good. They played americana so well, we almost thought they were american.
Electric Litany, who I really really liked. They played the sort of atmospheric rock I love.
The Meanie Genies, who well where rather dull. They sounded like every other greek rock group.
The Boy, who really has gone a long way since I first saw him with Mary (as Mary and the Boy). I have heard him play dozens of times, and each time he's better than the last.
Burger Project, who where the headliners. They mostly do remakes of well known songs, but they are a tremendous amount of fun and one of the most danceable bands in Greece.
Everybody knows this song, right?
Thursday, 10 June 2010
How soon is now?
I think I must have mentioned my oddly optimistic friend who thinks that revolution is near. He happily believes that if you push the people far enough (and we are being pushed, believe me! We are near breaking point) they will have no choice but to revolt.
Will they hurry up then? I am more than ready for the revolution. I have so much pent up rage, I dearly want an excuse to unleash it. There is only so long I can hold on to my righteous anger, before it turns into useless despair.
It's imperative we take control back from the economists and the corporations. They are the people that got us into this mess in the first place. And I'm not only talking about Greece, but the whole world. It's very clear that the people in charge have no idea about the real world. Do we really want people who apparently have lost all their humanity and sense of compassion calling the shots? And worst of all do we want people who are incapable of logical reasoning and are devoid of simple common sense making decisions for us?
Will they hurry up then? I am more than ready for the revolution. I have so much pent up rage, I dearly want an excuse to unleash it. There is only so long I can hold on to my righteous anger, before it turns into useless despair.
It's imperative we take control back from the economists and the corporations. They are the people that got us into this mess in the first place. And I'm not only talking about Greece, but the whole world. It's very clear that the people in charge have no idea about the real world. Do we really want people who apparently have lost all their humanity and sense of compassion calling the shots? And worst of all do we want people who are incapable of logical reasoning and are devoid of simple common sense making decisions for us?
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
Is this the Matrix?
There are times I find myself wondering if it's all just a hallucination.
Crossing the heated tarmac, in front of the anxiously revving cars, I step onto to the dirty cracked pavement and I think "This can't be real, can it?" And I wonder if I'll ever wake up from this ugly dream.
I have inhaled a lot of car fumes lately. Dangers of being a pedestrian in a big city.
Crossing the heated tarmac, in front of the anxiously revving cars, I step onto to the dirty cracked pavement and I think "This can't be real, can it?" And I wonder if I'll ever wake up from this ugly dream.
I have inhaled a lot of car fumes lately. Dangers of being a pedestrian in a big city.
Monday, 7 June 2010
Photographic Marathon
I'm so tired, it's not funny. The past few weeks I have been feeling thoroughly sleep deprived - even though I have been sleeping at least six hours a night.
But I have decided to stop putting things off! So even though I'm tired - and am thinking of going to sleep no matter that it's still half past nine - I am going to tell you what I did on Sunday.
On Sunday I took part in the Athens Photo Inspiration, which is basically a photographic marathon. A six hour photographic marathon! For six hours I walked (and cycled a bit) all over Athens, zig-zagging and criss-crossing in search of the perfect photographs. I walked over areas I usually avoid, or rush through - mostly because they're a bit seedy and dangerous - and re-visited well know haunts. No wonder my feet are still hurting me!
I even had a run in with the police. While walking through one of the most famously run down parts of Athens, I witnessed the greek SWAT police coming down on the illegal vegetable market the immigrants had set up. Not like the greek police attacking immigrants and drug addicts is anything new! I snapped a couple of photos, as discretely as possible, and I almost got away with it. But last minute I was spotted. They rounded up on me - the police specialise in intimidating the smaller and weaker - and demanded I erase all my photos of them. They said it was illegal to photograph them! (I wish someone would tell me if that's actually true or if they were bullshitting me.) They even accused me of purposely being in the area with the sole goal of photographing them - self-obsessed much? Whatever.
At the end of the marathon we had to hand in four photographs. One for each of the four themes we were given. I'm not very happy with my photos. Except for one that I'm truly happy with,the rest are rather average. It's not easy photographing a specific subject on demand in such a short time frame!
So here they are, just as shot and handed in. No cropping, no photoshop tweaking.
1. Escaping within the city (small moments of respite on Sunday)
2. Time and Space
3. Oppositions
4. Combinations (free subject)
But I have decided to stop putting things off! So even though I'm tired - and am thinking of going to sleep no matter that it's still half past nine - I am going to tell you what I did on Sunday.
On Sunday I took part in the Athens Photo Inspiration, which is basically a photographic marathon. A six hour photographic marathon! For six hours I walked (and cycled a bit) all over Athens, zig-zagging and criss-crossing in search of the perfect photographs. I walked over areas I usually avoid, or rush through - mostly because they're a bit seedy and dangerous - and re-visited well know haunts. No wonder my feet are still hurting me!
I even had a run in with the police. While walking through one of the most famously run down parts of Athens, I witnessed the greek SWAT police coming down on the illegal vegetable market the immigrants had set up. Not like the greek police attacking immigrants and drug addicts is anything new! I snapped a couple of photos, as discretely as possible, and I almost got away with it. But last minute I was spotted. They rounded up on me - the police specialise in intimidating the smaller and weaker - and demanded I erase all my photos of them. They said it was illegal to photograph them! (I wish someone would tell me if that's actually true or if they were bullshitting me.) They even accused me of purposely being in the area with the sole goal of photographing them - self-obsessed much? Whatever.
At the end of the marathon we had to hand in four photographs. One for each of the four themes we were given. I'm not very happy with my photos. Except for one that I'm truly happy with,the rest are rather average. It's not easy photographing a specific subject on demand in such a short time frame!
So here they are, just as shot and handed in. No cropping, no photoshop tweaking.
1. Escaping within the city (small moments of respite on Sunday)
2. Time and Space
3. Oppositions
4. Combinations (free subject)
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
Shopping Headache
Do you remember a time when life was so much more easy-going and innocent? I do. Now even going to the supermarket has become a complex political affair. When I was younger I remember that going to the supermarket felt freeing and adventurous. (Look at me! I'm all grown and I do my own shopping!) Now it feels like navigating a minefield of conflicting and confusing decisions.
Take for example this evening's short trip to the supermarket. I spy the section with the canned goods and make my way over there. Tuna, I think, I need tuna. As I stand in front of the tuna tins wondering which one to get, I suddenly think that I shouldn't buy tuna after all, because buying tuna means condoning the killing of dolphins. I turn to leave thinking that I shouldn't get any tuna after all. But I want tuna! the part of me indifferent to the dolphins' plight cries out, I like tuna, I eat tuna. Fuck the dolphins and get the tuna. So I turn around and ignore my principles - like I do every time - and go back to the shelf.
But that's only the beginning! I should economise, I tell myself, I have to be careful with my spending, so let's get the cheapest tuna. The cheapest tuna is one from Thailand. I pick up the tin and go to put it in my basket. Tuna from Thailand, I muse, exotic! Wait? Tuna from Thailand? What about all those wasteful kilometres it traveled to get to me? What about supporting my country's economy by buying local? I put the tuna tin down and pick up the Greek brand. Lovely, I think, a nice local product. Our economy needs all the help it can get. I make to put it in my basket, but decide to look at the price first. It's twice the price than the Thai one! I stand indecisive for a minute, alternatively making to put it back and making to put it in my basket. In the end I reason to myself that even though it's Greek which is a very good thing, it's expensive which is a very bad thing. So with a heavy heart, I put it back on the shelf and stand dejected. Totally defeated by the act of buying tuna.
I almost give up the whole thing and turn away, but the part of my brain that has craving still demands tuna and reminds me that the next time I want to make a tuna sandwich I will regret not getting a can. Tired and fed up I look at the lined up cans once more. I end up choosing a relatively cheap can of Portuguese tuna. Portugal is not too far away, I reason, they're in the EU like us, and their economy is in almost as bad a state and the price is good. So I end up putting it in my basket and finally, finally!, leave to continue my shopping. I feel frustrated and vaguely guilty, and so far I have only bought one thing!
I repeat a similar (although not so excruciating) with almost everything else I buy. And when I get home and open the cupboard, I realise that we had tuna after all. My sister had bought some. The expensive Greek brand.
Is it like this for everyone? Or am I over-thinking things and driving myself crazy?
Take for example this evening's short trip to the supermarket. I spy the section with the canned goods and make my way over there. Tuna, I think, I need tuna. As I stand in front of the tuna tins wondering which one to get, I suddenly think that I shouldn't buy tuna after all, because buying tuna means condoning the killing of dolphins. I turn to leave thinking that I shouldn't get any tuna after all. But I want tuna! the part of me indifferent to the dolphins' plight cries out, I like tuna, I eat tuna. Fuck the dolphins and get the tuna. So I turn around and ignore my principles - like I do every time - and go back to the shelf.
But that's only the beginning! I should economise, I tell myself, I have to be careful with my spending, so let's get the cheapest tuna. The cheapest tuna is one from Thailand. I pick up the tin and go to put it in my basket. Tuna from Thailand, I muse, exotic! Wait? Tuna from Thailand? What about all those wasteful kilometres it traveled to get to me? What about supporting my country's economy by buying local? I put the tuna tin down and pick up the Greek brand. Lovely, I think, a nice local product. Our economy needs all the help it can get. I make to put it in my basket, but decide to look at the price first. It's twice the price than the Thai one! I stand indecisive for a minute, alternatively making to put it back and making to put it in my basket. In the end I reason to myself that even though it's Greek which is a very good thing, it's expensive which is a very bad thing. So with a heavy heart, I put it back on the shelf and stand dejected. Totally defeated by the act of buying tuna.
I almost give up the whole thing and turn away, but the part of my brain that has craving still demands tuna and reminds me that the next time I want to make a tuna sandwich I will regret not getting a can. Tired and fed up I look at the lined up cans once more. I end up choosing a relatively cheap can of Portuguese tuna. Portugal is not too far away, I reason, they're in the EU like us, and their economy is in almost as bad a state and the price is good. So I end up putting it in my basket and finally, finally!, leave to continue my shopping. I feel frustrated and vaguely guilty, and so far I have only bought one thing!
I repeat a similar (although not so excruciating) with almost everything else I buy. And when I get home and open the cupboard, I realise that we had tuna after all. My sister had bought some. The expensive Greek brand.
Is it like this for everyone? Or am I over-thinking things and driving myself crazy?
Stale News
This is the reason I'm an utterly useless blogger, I never seem to get round to posting my news when it's fresh.
So anyway, the weekend before last (see? old old mouldy news) I went a-traveling again. Monday was a bank-holiday (the day of the Holy Spirit), so my sister and I decided it was imperative to take advantage if it.
Saturday evening (my sister works Saturdays) we took the train to Lamia where our friend Angela unfortunately lives. (No one chooses to live in Lamia, they are either born there and know no better, or like my friend are forced to go there for work.) Lamia isn't too far, it's two to three hours by train.
We got there in time for a late night dinner and a little peak at the city's night-life. It was just as I thought it would be: uninspiring men and scantily clad girls tottering in high heels.
But of course no one actually wants to visit Lamia, so after a lazy breakfast of pancakes on Angela's marvelously huge terrace-balcony, we went a-traveling yet again. We squeezed into her authentic 1994 Mini Cooper (it's the only car that makes me feel so tall and fat!), and took the road to Volos.
It took us about three hours or so. The Mini goes so slow (and the windows rattle too) that out on the freeway even the Smarts passed us! The girls wanted to revisit a tiny beach they had discovered last July when they had gone camping in the little village of Lower Gazea. It truly was a tiny little strip of a beach, hidden behind a complex of newly built houses. It was just perfect! It filled my most important requirement: that we be completely alone. This early in the summer when I'm still ridiculously white and feel all chubby and awkward, the last thing I want is an audience to witness me in a bikini.
The sea was cold refreshing, and very clean, and the weather was constantly alternating between blue blue skies and short bursts of rain. And that was my first swim of the year! Afterwards we went to eat at the tiny adorable seaside village of Lower Gazea. It was practically empty and had only about three places to eat. We chose the one the village priest was sitting with company drinking ouzo and mezedes at. (Priests always know the best places to go.) All in all it was a lovely day trip. We returned late at night after one small mix up where we almost ended in Larissa instead of Lamia.
Next day we took the Mini to Kamena Vourla, an old-fashioned sea-side resort right next to Lamia. I had never been, and I must confess that it was much less decadent that I had imagined it would be. But maybe that was because it was till to early in the summer, and the weather was still alternating between rainy and sunny. Angela yet again managed to lead us to a beach that was practically empty, where we lazed in the sun and swam for a bit, until the sky turned overcast and scared us away.
And now I'm back in Athens, where it's hot and muggy and sticky and just plain awful. And it's not even really hot yet! *sigh* Two more months until my summer holidays.
So anyway, the weekend before last (see? old old mouldy news) I went a-traveling again. Monday was a bank-holiday (the day of the Holy Spirit), so my sister and I decided it was imperative to take advantage if it.
Saturday evening (my sister works Saturdays) we took the train to Lamia where our friend Angela unfortunately lives. (No one chooses to live in Lamia, they are either born there and know no better, or like my friend are forced to go there for work.) Lamia isn't too far, it's two to three hours by train.
We got there in time for a late night dinner and a little peak at the city's night-life. It was just as I thought it would be: uninspiring men and scantily clad girls tottering in high heels.
But of course no one actually wants to visit Lamia, so after a lazy breakfast of pancakes on Angela's marvelously huge terrace-balcony, we went a-traveling yet again. We squeezed into her authentic 1994 Mini Cooper (it's the only car that makes me feel so tall and fat!), and took the road to Volos.
It took us about three hours or so. The Mini goes so slow (and the windows rattle too) that out on the freeway even the Smarts passed us! The girls wanted to revisit a tiny beach they had discovered last July when they had gone camping in the little village of Lower Gazea. It truly was a tiny little strip of a beach, hidden behind a complex of newly built houses. It was just perfect! It filled my most important requirement: that we be completely alone. This early in the summer when I'm still ridiculously white and feel all chubby and awkward, the last thing I want is an audience to witness me in a bikini.
The sea was cold refreshing, and very clean, and the weather was constantly alternating between blue blue skies and short bursts of rain. And that was my first swim of the year! Afterwards we went to eat at the tiny adorable seaside village of Lower Gazea. It was practically empty and had only about three places to eat. We chose the one the village priest was sitting with company drinking ouzo and mezedes at. (Priests always know the best places to go.) All in all it was a lovely day trip. We returned late at night after one small mix up where we almost ended in Larissa instead of Lamia.
Next day we took the Mini to Kamena Vourla, an old-fashioned sea-side resort right next to Lamia. I had never been, and I must confess that it was much less decadent that I had imagined it would be. But maybe that was because it was till to early in the summer, and the weather was still alternating between rainy and sunny. Angela yet again managed to lead us to a beach that was practically empty, where we lazed in the sun and swam for a bit, until the sky turned overcast and scared us away.
And now I'm back in Athens, where it's hot and muggy and sticky and just plain awful. And it's not even really hot yet! *sigh* Two more months until my summer holidays.
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