Shopping Headache

Do you remember a time when life was so much more easy-going and innocent? I do. Now even going to the supermarket has become a complex political affair. When I was younger I remember that going to the supermarket felt freeing and adventurous. (Look at me! I'm all grown and I do my own shopping!) Now it feels like navigating a minefield of conflicting and confusing decisions.


Take for example this evening's short trip to the supermarket. I spy the section with the canned goods and make my way over there. Tuna, I think, I need tuna. As I stand in front of the tuna tins wondering which one to get, I suddenly think that I shouldn't buy tuna after all, because buying tuna means condoning the killing of dolphins. I turn to leave thinking that I shouldn't get any tuna after all. But I want tuna! the part of me indifferent to the dolphins' plight cries out, I like tuna, I eat tuna. Fuck the dolphins and get the tuna. So I turn around and ignore my principles - like I do every time - and go back to the shelf.

But that's only the beginning! I should economise, I tell myself, I have to be careful with my spending, so let's get the cheapest tuna. The cheapest tuna is one from Thailand. I pick up the tin and go to put it in my basket. Tuna from Thailand, I muse, exotic! Wait? Tuna from Thailand? What about all those wasteful kilometres it traveled to get to me? What about supporting my country's economy by buying local? I put the tuna tin down and pick up the Greek brand. Lovely, I think, a nice local product. Our economy needs all the help it can get. I make to put it in my basket, but decide to look at the price first. It's twice the price than the Thai one! I stand indecisive for a minute, alternatively making to put it back and making to put it in my basket. In the end I reason to myself that even though it's Greek which is a very good thing, it's expensive which is a very bad thing. So with a heavy heart, I put it back on the shelf and stand dejected. Totally defeated by the act of buying tuna.

I almost give up the whole thing and turn away, but the part of my brain that has craving still demands tuna and reminds me that the next time I want to make a tuna sandwich I will regret not getting a can. Tired and fed up I look at the lined up cans once more. I end up choosing a relatively cheap can of Portuguese tuna. Portugal is not too far away, I reason, they're in the EU like us, and their economy is in almost as bad a state and the price is good. So I end up putting it in my basket and finally, finally!, leave to continue my shopping. I feel frustrated and vaguely guilty, and so far I have only bought one thing!

I repeat a similar (although not so excruciating) with almost everything else I buy. And when I get home and open the cupboard, I realise that we had tuna after all. My sister had bought some. The expensive Greek brand.

Is it like this for everyone? Or am I over-thinking things and driving myself crazy?